All the Sheeps

Idk...

Fri, 10 Feb 2012 17:42:54 -0500

I don’t know what to write about, I just have to.

Huh, well… I’m going through hard times. For those who believe (like me :D), there’s something called Astral Hell. Its mostly like that: your energies go down during the whole month before your birthday and, since I was born in March 20th, February is always a bad time for me.

I stepped on dog poop like… 5 times, and the month is only starting. My PMS is being so mean to me, and I’m more in need of love than ever. My days have been boring, I’ve been down… And I might do stupid things in the middle of that, like deceiving people just because I want them in certain moments (something like “I love you… :) Now I don’t love you anymore. Ok?).

After some time… I stop liking the person. õ_õ I might need to make some tests about it LOL, but thats how it usually goes. And… I don’t know. I’ve met someone I really might like. Or not. I don’t know if I like him or its just a quick crush. And I don’t really want to get disappointed at my feelings AGAIN.

I guess that’s all I have to talk about… But I want to write more. ): I still don’t feel okay.

I’ve been thinking about possibilities. It’ll be probably IMPOSSIBLE to find the guy of my dreams. Someone pretty, who’s not sticky, who will never make me sad, and I’ll never get tired of him. Yeah, that’s probably possible. Maybe 30 years in the future - and I won’t wait for it without doing anything.

But… I feel empty. I feel like I expect too much from my future, like “WILL WE HAVE A PRETTY RELATIONSHIP AND I WILL LOVE HIM SO SO SO MUCH? <3 OH I HOPE WE DO, I’LL ALWAYS BE IN LOVE WITH HIM AND~” … But it never happens.

There’s also the “Appearance problem”… It seems I can’t be REALLY in love with someone unless I think “OMG HE IS SO CUTE” or at least “Oh, I really like his face… <3”. Something MUST keep me attached to that person, or else I’ll just… Stop loving him.

Or that’s how I feel like.

Ok, that’s enough. Thank you for reading, if you did. :) LOL

So... Hi again!

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 12:04:57 -0500

Its been a long, long time, right? I could say these Taylor Swift musics keep getting me down, but I would be lying.

In fact, its a love problem (oh, that’s new! /irony). I kinda don’t know what to do… When I stay too much time without any relationship, even if its a quick thing, I start to get TOO NEEDY. Its like “OMG I NEED SOMEONE SOON. I’LL GO CRAZY!”, but…

Yeah, there’s this boy… I guess I’m into him, I don’t know… The fact is: we already dated years ago, he and his family did something really cool to me, but I broke up because I was too young and stupid. It was like “Oh, I don’t like him anymore. ): Im sorry, let break up!”, since I just couldn’t keep a serious relationship when I was 13, and that’s completely normal. õ__õ

I really think he understands that, because we talked about our dating and laughed a lot, but I’m still scared about his family or anything. What if they say I’m going back because I’m only interested? Like “you don’t like our son, you just want us to do another good thing to you!”… I don’t know if they’d be capable of doing something like that, but… I’m scared.

Also, I don’t know if he’s into me. He might be kinda slow or really friendzoning me… And I’m just NEVER friendzoned. ò_o if that’s the case I’ll just send him to hell right now. I still gotta observe… Maybe he doesn’t think I’d want him again (well, not even I knew I’d want him again LOL), or something like that.

I’m scared of flirting with him and things, because… I don’t know. I hate being scared to get involved with someone, and if things keep on going like that, I’ll just stop liking him naturally. My heart is like that and there’s nothing I can do (and that’s a good thing, right? I mean… I won’t suffer long for anyone :D lol).

There’s also the possibility of my “vacation’s isolation”, since I haven’t seen boys in a while, nor talked to anyone that wasn’t in Facebook. I just hate not being able to understand myself. ô_o I’m way too complex (well, not that much, if I think carefully, I’ll see its pretty simple. LOL)

Well… Let’s hope for the best. x_x

Vingança?

Tue, 15 Nov 2011 18:23:51 -0500

Sentimento de vingança, pra mim, é muito ruim. Eu não gosto de desejar o mal pra outra pessoa, mas… Quando eu to com raiva, nem penso nisso. Nem por isso deixa de ser um sentimento muito, muito ruim, e quando eu me acalmo tento mandar embora o mais rápido que der. r~~espira e conta até 3~~

Pra mim é um problema lidar com isso… Eu fico mais magoada do que com raiva, e isso me afeta de um jeito que pelamor… Esses dias aconteceu de saírem sem mim pra um lugar que eu queria bastante ir, e não preciso nem dizer como eu fiquei. Não sei se foi por mal, se foi de propósito ou o que… Ainda mais quando vieram me contar sobre como foi, nem preciso dizer a cara que eu fiquei.

A questão é… Ficar me irritando, me entristecendo, remoendo isso tudo, vai me levar a que? Nada. Absolutamente nada. É nessas horas que a indiferença ajuda. Jogo tudo pro ar e ignoro, que já era. :D Não é garantido que eu logo vá superar, mas o tempo ajuda e se evitar de pensar, tenho CERTEZA que vai passar.

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Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:55:15 -0500

Pensamentos aleatórios

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:48:00 -0500

Okay, eu percebi que vou ficar viciada em Tumblr. Sei lá, durante o meu dia eu simplesmente penso em tanta coisa que tenho vontade de escrever em algum lugar… Mas se eu tivesse um blog… Sei lá.

Aliás, eu não sei de “nada”. Minha resposta pra tudo sempre é “sei lá”. Acho que é mais fácil escapar das coisas assim, sem ter que dar justificativa. Pra mim (e acho que pra todo mundo) é muito difícil expressar bem o que quer dizer… Ultimamente eu tenho reparado como é difícil a comunicação de tudo, sabe? Conversar, esclarecer coisas, expressar sentimentos… Tudo isso é muito difícil MESMO.

A internet, então… É uma droga dizer bem o que quer quando a outra pessoa não consegue ver a sua expressão. Agora mesmo eu poderia estar rindo igual idiota ou estar muito brava com tudo, e não teria como saber. Tem o lado bom e o lado ruim, mas eu passo mais trabalho por me expressar mal do que tendo que esconder meus sentimentos de alguém. XD

Eu odeio ter que medir o quanto eu demonstro minhas emoções ou o que eu penso porque posso passar uma impressão errada. Queria poder contar tudo pra todos sem me preocupar, sem medir ações nem palavras e saber que tá tudo bem, ninguém vai julgar errado ou falar mal. Mas não, não é assim; pouca gente vai te ouvir sem julgar, sem fofocar (seja agora ou no futuro) e sem te apoiar mesmo que a decisão não seja boa. Não que seja certo apoiar uma decisão ruim, mas mostrar o lado bom e o ruim da coisa e deixar sob sua responsabilidade é muito melhor do que dizer “Não faz isso”.

O que é certo e o que é errado, afinal?

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Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:22:43 -0500

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Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:22:42 -0500

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Mon, 14 Nov 2011 21:21:07 -0500

Hello theeere!

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 20:51:08 -0500

That’s my first post, so… I guess a love post would be okay. Its really… Not original, but whatever. Life’s about love, right?

My love life has always been a big mess. I fall in love with people and then some time later that love just fades away. WITH THAT IN MIND, I have to choose the right people to fall in love, but… Yeah, its kinda impossible to ~choose~. I just do, and always with the wrong ones.

Why do we have to fall in love with people we don’t want? WHAT DOES IT TAKE to even fall in love with people?! ITS SO RANDOM. I can’t take it. 5 years ago I fell in love with a boy, and I still have feelings for him (not strong ones anymore, since we don’t see each other), but still…

We didn’t even talk, he used to bother me and make me cry, so I thought he did all that because he liked me… But nothing ever happened, he kept avoiding me the rest of the time and all I did was get sad. Lately I’ve been thinking about him a lot, dreaming about meeting him and everything being okay… If that’s a sign, then I’ll be glad to meet him any time, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

I should think positively, though… Yeah, we WILL meet.

But while we don’t… I’ll still have more problems in my love life.